Coming to Terms
by pacejunkie
Summary: When Claire can’t seem to make up her mind, Charlie starts spending time with Nikki. Pretty much all fluff.


**Title:** Coming to Terms

**Rating:** PG/K+

**Summary:** When Claire can't seem to make up her mind, Charlie starts spending time with Nikki. Pretty much all fluff.

**Characters:** Charlie/Claire, Nikki, Desmond, Hurley

**Warnings:** Spoilers up to 3x10

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Lost but if I did, I would slay Paulo with Excalibur.

**A/N:** I hate Paulo, so in my world, he doesn't exist. _wipes hands_ That takes care of that.

It was the biggest rush Charlie had experienced in a long time. He and Hurley, careening down that hillside in the Dharma hippie van, completely out of control. Except that they weren't. It took Hurley to teach Charlie that you make your own luck. In the final seconds Hurley had popped the clutch and saved them both from becoming spaghetti sauce splattered on a rock face, one stain a bit larger than the other. The sensation clocked in at something just shy of a heart attack. Charlie hadn't felt a high like that since…well, suffice to say it had been a long time.

They were both so wired they didn't want the day to end, so they sat up late around a campfire talking as Claire held Aaron alongside Charlie. They were eventually joined by Nikki, who, like Shannon had been, seemed to be the type of girl that could always sniff out a party. Charlie didn't know Nikki very well because up until recently she had spent most of her time with Steve, Neil and Tracy on the other side of the camp. About a week ago, she started hanging around with some of the people in Charlie's circle. Charlie didn't know if she had a falling out with her friends or what; she struck him more like someone who gets bored fast.

The men were retelling the events of the day for the benefit of the women, with all of the romantic drama of two fearless knights that slew a dragon.

"What is it about men and cars?" asked Claire. "Even stranded on an island you manage to find a way to act like idiots. You could have been killed."

"It wasn't just about having fun," Charlie explained. "Hurley was breaking his curse."

Charlie was aware of the cosmic implications of Hurley's joyride for himself as well, but since he hadn't told Claire about Desmond's visions, he kept that part to himself. To Hurley's credit, he seemed to pick up on Charlie's omission and joined in the conspiracy of silence.

"From now on nothing but good thoughts and good times," said Hurley. "You just got to believe."

Charlie turned to Claire and smiled, hoping some of his elation would rub off on her. She seemed happy enough, but she sat an arms length away, cradling Aaron as if the baby emitted a force field. Despite the small kiss she had offered him the night of the hatch implosion, Charlie hadn't been able to get close to her since. It was as if after having opened up to him for a brief instant, she then retreated back into herself like a turtle in its shell.

Nikki on the other hand, moved closer. Getting up from the other side of the campfire, she wedged herself between Hurley and Charlie to get a better look at Charlie's right hand.

"Is that a _Driveshaft_ ring?" she said, picking up his hand and squinting in the darkness.

"Yeah," said Charlie, pulling back. "It's from the…"

"Second tour of Finland," said Hurley, rolling his eyes. "Dude, we know."

Charlie shot Hurley a look, but Nikki actually seemed interested. Charlie didn't think there was anyone on the island who gave two figs for his rock star past.

"Wow," she said. "You must be a really big fan, Charlie."

Nikki must have realized her mistake when Claire and Hurley both stifled the laughter that Charlie felt was entirely at his expense. Nikki just looked confused.

"Actually," Charlie sighed. "I was the bass player. It was my band. Well, me and my brother's."

"Get out," cried Nikki. "Stop lying."

"Dude, he's not lying," said Hurley. "It was all he would ever talk about before…"

Charlie shot Hurley the second look of the night. Hurley didn't need to remind everyone of the events that caused Charlie to give up trying to gain everyone's attention as the famous castaway. That aspiration died with a lot of things, starting with when he burned his heroin and ending with him hanging lynched from a tree. After that experience, his glory days didn't seem to matter anymore, not even to himself.

Nikki turned back to Charlie. "I've seen you with that guitar before. God, if I were you I'd be playing to the whole beach around a campfire every night."

Charlie didn't have the heart to tell her no one was that interested in hearing him play. He could clear a room by strapping on his guitar faster than a person yelling 'Fire'. He was just relieved that Hurley didn't see the need to provide that bit of information.

"Well," he explained, "I kind of just play for myself these days."

"Well I would listen," said Nikki.

"Really?" said Charlie, taking her in for the first time. She had a warm, friendly smile, and her crossed knee came dangerously close to his. She smelled like the ocean. "I used to play on the street for spare change in London. I didn't do too badly."

Just then Claire rose. "It's getting late. I'm turning in."

Charlie turned, having just remembered that Claire had sat silently by his side for the last ten minutes. "Okay. Goodnight Claire."

Nikki was unbothered by the interruption. Charlie felt a hand on his arm, drawing him back.

"I would love to learn how to play" she said. "There's so little to do here. It would be a great way to pass the time. Would you teach me?"

"Yeah, no problem," said Charlie. "You want to start tomorrow?"

"Sure," she said.

She held out her hand to seal the deal and they shook.

"See you tomorrow," said Nikki as she turned with a flip of her honey brown hair.

They watched her sashay across the beach and then Hurley said to Charlie, "Dude, you sure you know what you're doing?"

"It's just guitar lessons, Hurley," he said.

"What about Claire?" Hurley asked.

Charlie looked back in the direction of Claire's tent where he still kept most of his things to keep the rain off them. His luggage may have found a permanent home, but these days Charlie was sleeping anywhere on the beach he chose to lie down, sometimes in the pole and blanket tent he pitched after Claire had kicked him out, sometimes not.

"Claire and I…," he began, "I don't even know. We're just friends, I guess."

"If you say so, bro," said Hurley. He slapped Charlie on the shoulder and walked off, leaving Charlie alone by the fire.

scene break

The next day Charlie went to visit Claire as he always did. When he arrived at her tent, Claire was hunched over her diary, scribbling.

"Anything to do with me?" Charlie joked, pretending to peek over her shoulder.

Charlie jumped back in surprise when Claire slammed the journal shut and looked at him. "What do you want Charlie?"

"What do I want?" he repeated. "I just came to say hi."

Claire stashed her diary away in her bag and rose to fold her clothes.

"Hi," she said, looking away.

Charlie walked around until he faced her again.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," said Claire. After folding the same shirt twice, she said, "I'm surprised to see you here so early is all."

"But I always come round in the morning," said Charlie.

Claire continued to speak as she folded. "Yes, but after last night I just assumed you'd be worn out from the attention."

"You mean Nikki?" he asked, shrugging. "She's just a fan."

"You seemed to enjoy each other's company," said Claire, "she was practically in your lap. It was quite a display."

"No she wasn't," countered Charlie. He felt his anger rise up at the veiled accusation. "And anyway what if she was, it's not like you…"

"Hey Charlie," came Nikki's singsong voice as she appeared alongside them. "I hope you didn't forget about our guitar lesson."

Claire turned to face Charlie for the first time, her eyebrow arched. "_Guitar lesson?_" she said. "Oh, please."

Charlie turned away from Claire to respond to Nikki. "No, I didn't forget. Meet me down where we sat last night. I'll be along in a minute."

Nikki twirled and skipped off as Claire watched her go, arms crossed over her chest. Charlie turned back to take in her stance.

"You're not jealous are you?" he asked her with a smirk.

"No, of course not," said Claire. "What have I got to be jealous of?"

Charlie softened. "Claire, if you want me to stay just say the word."

Claire shook her head and sighed. "No. You go on then. I'll see you later."

He considered her for another moment and then picked up his guitar case and left.

scene break

Claire had watched Charlie leave that morning as he carried his guitar to the bonfire site. She folded clothes at the same time to avoid staring in an obvious way. He sat down next to Nikki, opened the case and handed her the guitar. Reaching around her, he helped her form the chords as she strummed. From behind, it looked more like an embrace than instruction. Claire turned away to wipe the moisture from her eyes.

As if sensing her disturbance, Aaron began to cry and Claire lowered her tent flap, blocking out the view so she could feed him. She spent the rest of the day trying to keep her mind off of whatever Charlie was doing. They didn't own one another; he was free to do as he pleased and so was she.

Charlie returned later that evening for another visit. Claire was determined to be more welcoming. They shared stories about their days and then Claire broached a new subject.

"Do you miss your groupie days, Charlie?" she asked.

Charlie was taken aback by the question, but he seemed to consider it fully before answering. "Well, I miss some of it, but mostly I don't. It was Liam that pulled all the girls, really. Most of the ones that wanted me only used me for my drugs." Charlie flinched a little, since his drug history was something they rarely talked about.

Claire lay stretched out in her chair, still listening, so Charlie continued. "Still, who wouldn't want the attention, right? I mean, I admit its nice just being with someone who seems to enjoy your company."

"Is that why you like Nikki?" she asked softly.

Charlie looked at her, appearing to gauge the intent behind what had been an honest question. When he spoke his voice was as quiet as hers had been. "I just get the feeling that you still can't make up your mind, Claire. About us. It's been nearly two weeks since you kissed me and I still feel like your friend and babysitter. I'm happy to do it, don't get me wrong, but…I just don't know where I stand with you, and I think I need to. At least with Nikki…"

He stopped, and Claire felt her heart sink. "What? Finish what you were going to say."

He sighed and looked down at the ground. "At least she's not afraid to show how she feels."

Claire felt the tears well up for the second time that day. She knew she only had to reassure him and everything would be all right but she couldn't. Claire wished she knew why she couldn't, but the words just refused to come.

Instead she found herself saying, "Maybe you and I should spend some time apart for a while."

Charlie didn't even protest. Claire thought he was probably thinking the same thing. He nodded sadly and left.

scene break

The next day Claire sought out Desmond. She knew he and Charlie had spent quite a bit of time together lately, though she didn't know why. She assumed as fellow countrymen they had bonded over some shared memories. Claire had found him intriguing and mysterious from the moment he had appeared on their beach in his sailboat, drunk as a skunk, to his uncanny ability to be in the right place at the right time, most recently to save her from drowning. When she had gone to thank him, she noticed the picture that he carried of the woman he called Penelope. No doubt there was a story there.

"Hello Desmond," she greeted him outside his tent. The day was so sunny she had to squint.

"Good morning," he returned.

"What are you doing today?" she asked.

"Oh, I dunno," he said. "I thought I'd head to the club for a round of golf and some lunch."

Claire laughed. "I suppose it was a silly question," she said.

"No, it wasn't," he said smiling, "I was just joking. Actually, I brought some of the suitcases down from the caves yesterday and I was going to go through them."

"Can I help?" she asked.

Desmond looked at her. "Aye, if that sounds exciting to you."

He pulled a large canvas suitcase out from his tent and laid it open on the sand. They went through it for anything that might be useful. Scavenging like this made Claire think back to her early days on the island.

"I found this great hat one time," she began as she worked, "in the abandoned luggage. I wore it for a while to keep off the sun, when I was staying out on the beach without a tent. I never took it off."

"What happened to it?" Desmond asked.

Claire thought back to the bits of memory that had so recently returned to her. "I stopped wearing it after I moved to the caves. It was pretty dark there, I didn't really need it. Not long after that I…went missing for a while."

Desmond looked at her, confused, when she paused.

"Long story," she said with a shrug. "Anyway, the hat got lost at some point. It never turned up."

"Well it couldn't have gotten far," he said smiling. "Maybe you'll see it again, or find another you like even better."

"Yeah," said Claire.

After a few moments Desmond asked, "So where's your mate Charlie?"

Claire shrugged and grabbed at useless words, her eyes scanning the beach, "Oh, um…I…well…"

Desmond followed her gaze to where Charlie and Nikki were walking down the shore, away from them. Charlie's hands were animated as he spoke and Nikki walked alongside with a spring in her step, kicking at the waves as they danced round her feet.

"Ah, I see," said Desmond.

Claire blushed, feeling like a child caught in a lie.

"Are you hoping to get noticed yourself, then?" he asked. "Preferably with me?"

"Desmond," said Claire, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to take advantage of you, really. It's just…" Claire tried and then gave up. She really didn't know why she was there or what she had been hoping to achieve.

Desmond, however, seemed to understand. "Can I give you some advice?" he asked her.

Claire nodded.

"I once threw away the one good thing I had in my life," he said. "Don't make the same mistake I did."

"Are you talking about Penelope?" she asked. "The woman in the photo?"

Desmond nodded. "Having someone who loves us is a rare thing."

Claire shook her head, "I don't know how I feel about Charlie."

"But I know how Charlie feels about you," he said. "Even still, no man wants to wait around forever."

Desmond looked down the beach again to where Charlie and Nikki had dropped down in the sand, laughing and talking. Claire followed his gaze and felt profound sadness in the pit of her stomach.

"I guess I assumed that because we're both trapped on this island that Charlie would always be there," Claire said as she watched them.

"Judging by the look of things," said Desmond, "I suggest you make a decision and make it soon."

scene break

She must have been exhausted. When she woke the sun was high up in the sky. Aaron was stirring in the crib next to her bed. The baby must have overslept too; Claire was surprised he was so content. It seemed like midday but the beach was quiet. Everyone must already be up and about, she thought.

Claire picked up Aaron and tried to feed him but the baby wasn't interested. He smiled and laughed so she assumed he wasn't hungry. As she sat with him she looked out from her tent and around the beach. The camp was not only quiet; it was deserted. Completely deserted. There wasn't a single soul.

She got up and walked to Charlie's tent, not passing anyone on the way. When she looked inside it was completely empty. She looked around again and her heart began to race.

"Hello?" she called. "Is anyone around?"

With Aaron content in her arms Claire walked from one end of the beach to another, peeking inside every tent, but each one was more barren than the next. Not only were there no people, but she saw no possessions; not a suitcase, an item of clothing or a cooking vessel. There were no signs of any trouble, and she had slept so soundly there couldn't have been any crisis in the night, then where could everyone have gone? Claire swallowed a lump in her throat, trying to quell the panic.

She was alone; they had all left her, every single one of them.

Losing a battle with her tears she started walking, hoping to find someone who could tell her what had happened. She stopped short in the sand when she heard voices.

They were light and jovial, sounds of laughter and conversation, and they were drawing her to the water. She went closer to shore and looked out and although it hadn't been there a moment ago, she now saw a boat.

It looked like a ferry, and it was full of people, but she recognized three faces in particular standing at the ship's stern, holding drinks and carrying on as if they were on a pleasure cruise. She hadn't even known that her father, Thomas and Charlie knew each other, but here they seemed like old friends. The boat was sailing away, disappearing over the horizon.

"Charlie!" she screamed, but he didn't hear her, and the vessel only grew smaller and smaller.

"Don't leave!" she pleaded, tears running down her cheeks as Aaron began to cry.

From behind her in the jungle came the sounds of whispers. Claire turned to look as the trees began to fall, torn from their roots by an unseen hand. She turned back to the ocean and the boat was gone.

Claire woke with her heart in her throat. Dawn was just breaking. She whipped her head round to see the life of the camp around her. Many were still asleep in their tents; others were early risers, assembling in the kitchen area and around the cooking fires. She stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and then scooped Aaron up in her arms and ran to find Charlie.

The dream had felt so real that she feared she would find his tent empty. She was relieved when she poked her head in and saw him asleep. Claire knelt down beside him and placed Aaron down next to her on the blanket.

"Charlie, wake up!" she said. "I need to talk to you!"

He woke slowly but when he realized it was Claire he shot upright. "Claire, what's wrong?" He looked down and saw the baby. "Is Aaron okay?"

Claire opened her mouth and a torrent of words came tumbling out. "Every man I've ever known in my life has left me starting with my father and then Aaron's father and I'm so afraid to trust anyone and so help me God Charlie if you ever do anything like that to me, I don't know what I'll…."

"Claire, stop," he said, touching her hair and taking her hand to calm her. "Did something happen? Why are you telling me this?"

She responded by throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him. Charlie tensed for an instant but then accepted her affection and relaxed in her arms. Claire held on until her heartbeat slowed.

They parted and Charlie stared at her in surprise.

"I'm sorry I took you for granted." Claire said, "I guess because we were on this island I assumed you couldn't leave me no matter what I did. But I also kept you at a distance so I wouldn't get hurt."

"It's okay," said Charlie. "I just wish you'd have told me."

"Please don't leave me," she said. "I want to make this work. I want to be with you if that's what you want too."

Charlie smiled and kissed her again. "You know I do," he said. "I was just waiting for you to catch up to me."

"What about Nikki?" she asked.

Charlie shrugged. "She was only interested in me because of the band. I can tell those things. I didn't mind it, but I knew."

Claire nodded, laying her head against his shoulder.

"You seemed to really like her," she said into his chest.

Charlie picked up Claire's chin and his blue eyes locked with her own.

"She could never be you."


End file.
